Matzo Ball Billiards

A few weeks ago, quite late one Saturday night, I found myself wearing a tuxedo in the basement of Loreley Beer Garden on the Lower East Side. Among a sea of, let’s say, more casual, and certainly more appropriate attire, it was shockingly out of place, but I can’t say I was particularly bothered by it. Besides, I had good reason to be rocking full black tie.

Earlier in the evening, I attended a Quincy Jones tribute show put together by my buddy Chad. It was of course, a blast of an event and brought together a ton of great musical talent. Chad himself is one of the sickest menswear fellas I know, and due to the show’s subject matter, had designated it as “black tie optional” to give himself and other guests a welcome excuse to dress up a bunch.

And dress up we did! I and a handful of other attendees took this option very seriously, because of course, Quincy Jones deserves that kind of respect, but also – it’s not every day I get a chance to break out my black tie kit!

All in all, it was a lot of fun and a hell of a show! However, that night had me on quite the tight schedule. I had to leave the show a drop early to run from Williamsburg over to the LES for a birthday party, and I was fully committed to the black tie bit at this point.

But in truth, besides for the fun novelty of being overdressed in an unexpected place, like I said, I really wasn’t too bothered. Maybe it’s because I was surrounded by friends who know that menswear is kind of my schtick. Perhaps the few drinks I had that night were of some contribution, as well. We’ll never know.

However, this funny little scenario had me thinking about juxtaposition and “dressing for the vibe.”

When I put together an outfit, I typically take some time to consider what I’m doing that day, where I’ll be, and what my evening plan might entail, too.

When I go into the office once or twice a week, I tend to dress a bit more simplistically that I do on my remote days. This is a bit ironic, because I get the sense that most people take it easy on their remote work days and save the slick clothes for the office.

But my workplace is perhaps a bit humdrum, and it’s not my intention to make any statements.

Meanwhile, on my remote workdays, I often find myself out and about town in the early evenings or taking short strolls through my neighborhood for my lunch break. That presents a fresher opportunity to express myself and dress like a senile history professor or whatnot.

But I digress, in this instance, I’m allowing my workplace to influence my decisions on how I choose to dress. My outfits and style are attuned to “the vibe.”

In the other direction, I will typically wear a formal-ish suit or at the very least a smart sport coat and tie combo for my Sabbath observance each weekend. To me, that’s just “the vibe.”

These are both circumstances where I dress up or down according to some sort of expectation. But as I get older and more settled into a sense of personal style, the less I care about meeting these types of expectations on a day-to-day basis.

For example, my default uniform that I’ll resort to when the day has no plans or implications one way or the other, consists of an OCBD, a tweed sport coat, either cord or denim bottoms, and sometimes a fun tie.

By all conventions of “menswear,” this is a pretty casual outfit. Put-together, but still casual. Some may call it “smart casual” or whatever. However, the inclusion of a tie and a tailored jacket, even of the casual variety, reads as “dressed up” in many common contexts today. I don’t think it ought to be, but that’s just the reality, even in a city as fashion-conscious as New York. The average joe simply does not go there.

Therefore, when I’m wearing this pretty classic Sully ensemble and find myself at a sleazy dive bar later in the evening, I tend to stand out a drop. Not dramatically, but a bit. But I kinda love that juxtaposition! It’s a demonstration to myself that I don’t always need to change my outfit to perfectly meet the context. And that contrast can be a lot of fun!

Don’t take this to be my endorsement of the total abolishment of dress codes and common sense/decorum. There absolutely are places and situations that require you to pay close attention to the suggested or socially acceptable style. Don’t jog in a silk suit. And don’t go to a wedding in shorts and a tank top. And of course, the delicate scenarios in between these two extremes – be mindful!

It’s just that, day-to-day, normal place-to-place, this shit doesn’t really matter. Most people don’t care how you dress, especially if you’re fortunate to live in a city. Diverse styles are par for the course and can even lead to some unexpected but welcome conversations with strangers. I frequently converse with baristas, retail staff, and random UWS grandmas about my duds after they’ve paid me a sweet compliment. People like seeing this stuff in the wild and connecting over clothes!

So, my final endorsement on this matter is in favor of “justified juxtaposition.” A lot of the time, it’s worth pushing past the boundaries of what you think is expected of you and how to dress – often this is simply what you think others are expecting of you!

Once you let yourself wear the clothes that you like in the types of places where you don’t think they perfectly fit, you might find yourself more confident in your personal style and just feel better about putting that shit on every day.